I think that we go through intense times of want and need to really appreciate the times when all is good.

Tear Down the House

tear down the house that i grew up in
i'll never be the same again
take everything that i've collected.... throw it in a pile
bulldoze the woods that i ran through
carry the pictures of me and you
i have no memory of who i once was
and i dont remember your name

park the old car that i love the best
inspections due and it wont pass the test
its funny how i have to put it to rest
and how one day i will join it

i remember crying over you
and i dont mean like a couple of tears and i'm blue
i'm talking about colapsin and screamin at the moon
but i'm a better man for having gone through it
yes, i'm a better man for having gone through it

i have no memory of who i once was
and i dont remember your name....

nothing is more reassuring than sitting across from a table of doctors.... laughing at the fart application on their iphones.

You know you've lost some of the dream when you are 50yrs old, have tons of tattoos, a long grey beard, leather pants, and ride a bright yellow scooter.... just sayin....

Her

Beautiful
a woman whose presence alone makes me question my worthiness of her
a grace that is calming and powerful
closer to God than she is to me
pushes me onward in everything
the first thing I want to see every morning
loves the outdoors
walks with her head held high
powerful
makes me closer to God because of her purity
steadfast
doesnt like to cook, but likes my cooking
compassionate beyond my understanding
full of passion for what matters most
crazy in love
I give myself to her, all the sacrifices, and yet I still feel it was not enough
a love that is ours, alone, forever
the woman who walks in a room and everyone knows, "yeah, that's HER"

Paralyzed

A friend recently read the story of the paralyzed man who was healed by Christ after his friends lowered him through the roof of a house. I've heard this story a million times. I've seen the pictures used in school. I've even used the felt board(which is possibly one of the coolest things ever and I would love to have a wall made out of that one day) to lower the paralyzed man through the roof, but this time was different. There was a phrase that stuck out, "When Jesus saw THEIR faith, he said to the paralytic, "Son, your sins are forgiven." It was because of the friends' faith, because they carried their friend who could not carry himself to Christ. I need to be carried sometimes, I cannot carry myself, keep myself up, walk, but God has given me friends to carry me when I need it. To help me up, to carry my cross when I cannot bear it, to give me water and refresh my spirit. How many times do we forget that? I thank God daily for the people that He has placed around me because, "When Jesus saw THEIR faith," He brought me closer to Him and did what I could not do.... "Son, your sins are forgiven". Hallelujah

There's nothing like nature's mowing...

I love hiking!

Crazy Love

I started to read the book Crazy Love yesterday. I cannot put it down. Every page has a new conviction, and I know that I have completely lost sight of God and His love for me. But the funny thing is that it is not about me! This life, this world is so filled with billions of other people that why would my life matter. The millions of galaxies flooding the universe, who am I? But, God's love is so indescribable and so incredible that He loves me... let me make sure you got this, He loves ME! He loves an individual out of the billions with the same closeness, and unfathomly more so, of a mother or father. ME! It is His choice, and only He can know why. It is such a hummbling thought to know that the God of the universe loves me so much, more than anyone else, even died for me and went to hell to rescue me, and all He wants is to get to know me and to love me more one on one... and yet I don't even give Him that. Time is what I have, and I keep it to myself. How selfish, inconsiderate, and insanely stupid am I? God is LOVE, yet all I want from Him is forgiveness.

Packing...

The room is feeling pretty empty, and as I make my way down to the car with boxes and stuff, another car leaves. It makes me think that I am living in a Rob Bell Nooma video... Packing... I do kinda have his glasses. The last things to go are the pictures on the wall. They are the memories of this year and of the past years. It's funny how one picture has so much wrapped inside. Under the plastic are the memories, the stories, the friends. It is starting to echo.... echo... echo... (jk) This will be the last blog from room b Jefferson 226. It's been a crazy year and I have loved it! I asked for God to mold me, and He has and still is. I am not the same man that walked through the door. As I leave the last time, I know that the best is yet to come. Packing is just a stage of life moving into another. It is just all one big vindiagram. Being absorbed into another time, there are adjustments, some painful but all good. I know that this year and these three men that God has placed into my life have shaped my future in ways I may never fully know. As I am alone in this apartment, I know that the four of us were how God meant it to be. We truly all became best friends in one way or another. But that time is over. The friendship remains, but the future is beckoning. Change is coming, and I am still, for now packing....

-no Rob Bells were hurt in the making of this post

Girly Man

Sometimes I wonder what goes through my head. I've developed a new way to see from the outside what is going through my head, and it is called Scrubs therapy, and by Scrubs, I mean the show. I have developed a theory that Zach Braff and I are one in the same. Maybe it is a Zach thing? Don't know. But JD (if you've seen the show, you know) and I seem to go through the same things, and think the same things, and I would love to have a piece of land with just a deck on it. Appletini's are great, and I cry too. An episode I watched today started this therapy. Sometimes, you just gotta "be a man about it", and realize the importance of friends without strings and overthinking things. Just relax, drink a beer, and scratch yourself. Emotions mean a lot, but girly men sometimes just need to be men. Drop the apron, and enjoy how we were intended to be made, and not how others or an interesting childhood made us. Buck up, and be a man.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJ3MSCLBpaM

Trolleywood

It's really funny how one song can sum up a year or a time in one's life. Through singing that song, memories flood in, surrounding you in the past and carrying you off to times gone by. There are people contained in the lyrics, and the melodies carry the ups and downs of the relationships that are held within its hopes. May we all find those songs. May we all find the life in the sound. Like my favorite teacher once said, "our lives are bound in the stories we write". I say that they are bound in the melodies of our past, holding close the harmonies of the friends we say goodbye to. This is for the people who are bound in the songs I love. May we walk one day together, again. Hallelujah.

Exam Time!

Exam time is always really weird, but AWESOME! It is really interesting to see all of what has gone on this year. This year has been probably the best and worst year of my life. The friends and connections I have made have been great, but there is just something about this week when you dont have to worry, or go to class, or do a lot of work that you find yourself again. For the first time in a while, I went to a concert, not because I had to for my degree, but because I genuinely really like the band. It was the Enemy Lovers, and it was freakin amazing! It made me want to keep going with a passion for life ( I know... Cheesy!), but it was just a really tight, new sounding concert (that was as good if not better than the CD). I think it is during this time that I find my inspiration. When you are not told the music you should do, the music you want to do just finds it's way into you ears and your heart. I'm finally ready for the summer, and this summer is gonna be awesome!