Perfect Space

thanks avetts

I wanna have friends that I can trust,
that love me for the man I've become not the man I was.
I wanna have friends that will let me be
all alone when being alone is all that I need.

I wanna fit in to the perfect space,
feel natural and safe in a volatile place.
And I wanna grow old without the pain,
give my body back to the earth and not complain.
Will you understand when I am too old of a man?
And will you forget when we have paid our debt
who did we borrow from? Who did we borrow from? 

Okay part two now clear the house.
The party's over take the shouting and the people,
get out!

I have some business and a promise that I have to hold to.
I do not care what you assume or what the people told you.
Will you understand, when I am too old of a man?
Will you forget when we have paid our debts,
who did we borrow from? Who did borrow from?

I wanna have pride like my mother has,
And not like the kind in the bible that turns you bad.
And I wanna have friends that I can trust,
that love me for the man I've become and not the man that I was 

Thank you notes

i'm stuck in thank you notes.  but, i'm thankful to be stuck there.  favorite quote from a note i received.  "kinda like a bunch of girls getting the same period after awhile".....  you know who you are and thanks for that.

an ode to 723

listening to fleetfoxes like this room is so accustomed to.  moving back to where i came.  this has become one large circle.  a lot of stops, but knowing that a tangent will be coming along soon and i will be walking out of this circle finally.  i enter the deep once again, but as a completely different person.  the experiences and people and friends and life has made me something different, something new and changed.  i'm still shaky and unsure, but confident in that.  knowing that nothing can happen that is not meant to be, knowing that He is looking out for me and truly loves me like i have never experienced before.  the music has begun to shape the future of my life and the lyrics mirror the past that has gone and the past that is to come.

"my hummingbird sing to me"    hummmmmmmmmmmm.....

Better

This is what I have learned.  When everything is confusing and you feel spread way too thin and the future is very cloudy and you don't know what to do next, remember the great and mighty deeds(wow that was churchy) that God has done in the past.  Don't tell every person (even and sometime especially the close friends) what God is doing in your personal walk with Him.  The dreams and hopes and wishes and desires sometimes are better left for fruition.  Basically don't pick the fruit before it is ripe.  Don't live life without expectations.  Even though it hurts to be let down, sometimes that closure is exactly what God is trying to do, CLOSE THAT DOOR, especially those that you have had your foot in for so long, slammed and abused.  And who's to say that one door closed doesn't mean that this entire part of your life is over and done with and that you should leave it never to think back on those times.  Because when you are most frustrated, most confused, seeking the most, following without having any direction, you realize that you are no longer following your own path, your own plans.  This is where God wants you, where He can truly use you.  Stay there and seek.  Don't leave.  Don't carve out a hole in the wall where a door used to be.  Wait, follow what you know to be true even though the destination is not clear, or maybe not even something that you wanted in the first place, but here is growth, learning, progress, creation.  It sucks,  I KNOW.  But I just have faith that this is where God has put me and who am I to be arrogant enough to say that something else is better.

Sacrifice

I've been looking for a real sacrifice, something more, something worthy. Maybe my thoughts are in the wrong place. I mean, I know that I can never repay God for his ultimate sacrifice, and never will be able to, but I just think that there is so much more to give... I read that the early disciples of Christ, the beginning Church fasted, not to ask God for something, but because it was cheaper not to eat and they could give more to the people in need, the poor, the hungry, the lost. What am I doing? What is this love that I have that doesnt reach farther than my arms, that never reaches beyond my own meager, selfish desires? Everything is provided, and God is so great and good and powerful, shouldnt that mean that I give freely what is so graciously given to me? Shouldnt there be a TRUE sacrifice? Shouldnt there be something missing that was not given out of an excess, out of too much? Shouldnt I feel something, like they felt that hunger in their somaches? I want that emptiness, not because I have need, but because I sacrificed.

revolution

You must die to live. You must lose to gain. Weakness is strength. Joy exists in the midst of suffering. Power is restraint. Love those who persecute you. Pray for those who hate you. Ceasar isn't Lord and Herod isn't King. It is not the strong or the wealthy who will inherit the earth, but the meek. The kingdom of God won't be given to the religious leaders but to the spiritual idiots (the poor in spirit). Mourners, peacemakers, the merciful, and the persecuted can all find blessing in the kingdom of Jesus. Jesus Christ is the most subversive man ever to have walked the earth. THIS is revolution!
-Mike Erre

Mere flight and disgrace

If I profess with the loudest voice and clearest exposition every portion of the Word of God except precisely that little point which the world and the devil are at the moment attacking, I am not confessing Christ, however boldly I may be professing Christ. Where the battle rages, there the loyalty of the soldier is proved, and to be steady on all the battle front besides, is mere flight and disgrace if he flinches at that point.
-Martin Luther